Dos and Don’ts for Disability Allyship

1. DO LISTEN DEEPLY

  • Hear the stories, concerns, hurts.

  • Believe what you hear.

  • Acknowledge the pain and injustice.

DON’T

  • …interrupt, rationalize, or get defensive.

  • …say anything – just listen!

  • …quote scripture or theology.

2. DO ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN

  • Speak directly to a person with a disability.

  • Inquire about:

    • …accommodations needed.

    • …experiences, choice of language.

  • Focus on relationship-building.

  • Explore more deeply if comfortable for your conversation partner.

DON’T

  • …direct your question to a caregiver, companion, or interpreter.

  • …ask for a person’s diagnosis or medical information or share that information with a third party: don’t “out” anyone!

  • …use ableist language.

  • …focus only on the disability experience.

3. DO PRESUME COMPETENCE

  • Assume a person has a way to accomplish things and will ask if assistance is needed.

  • Assume that a person can communicate and understand you.

  • Create space for leadership, then step aside.

  • Check in to gain guidance on issues to be addressed and involvement needed.

DON’T

  • …assume you know what someone else needs.

  • …insist on providing help or help when not requested to do so.

  • …alter your speech pattern and language.

  • …ask for feedback and input, then ignore it.

  • …stereotype based on media impressions or people with apparently similar disabilities.

4. DO ANTICIPATE AND NOTICE

  • …barriers and lack of accessibility.

  • …who is and is not present “at the table?”

  • …who is and is not in the speaking center?

  • …persons being “othered.”

DON’T

  • …assume that anything is truly ADA compliant, or that ADA compliance is sufficient.

  • …assume people with disabilities are not present out of lack of interest.

  • …allow good intentions to serve as an excuse.

5. DO PLAN AHEAD AND COMMUNICATE

  • Involve people with disabilities from the outset before decisions have been made.

  • Budget for and routinely provide needed accommodations.

  • Provide accessibility information on-line.

  • Provide material ahead of time in the requested accessible format.

  • Consider transportation needs.

  • Consider accessibility in all event aspects.

DON’T

  • …plan an event without ensuring full accessibility.

  • …make expensive plans without checking them first with people needing accommodations.

  • …make it hard to find needed information.

  • …make a promise and fail to keep it.

  • …operate from the assumption that any needs are “special needs.”

Written by Deaconess Lynn Swedberg, update 08/23/23

6. DO SPEAK OUT, ACCEPT CONSEQUENCES

  • Say or do something:

    • …when you spot, read, hear ableism.

    • …when concerns of a person with a disability are dismissed or ignored.

    • …when safety is compromised.

DON’T

  • …expect gratitude or do it for your ego.

  • …be surprised by resistance or hostility.

  • …back down when you ruffle feathers.

  • …let the fear of doing the wrong thing keep you from doing something.

7. DO ADVOCATE

  • Challenge unjust policies and laws.

  • Ask for feedback and follow the lead of persons with disabilities.

  • Pick your battles but keep the goal of an inclusive society in mind.

DON’T

  • …assume someone else will do it, or that someone with a disability will want to be the advocate for all disability issues.

  • …jump in without knowing the facts and the history of the situation.

8. DO EXPLORE CREATIVE ALTERNATIVES

  • Practice universal design – plan alternatives so all can participate in a way that works.

  • Celebrate the way that diversity expands possibilities.

  • Remember that many people with disabilities have a wealth of experience finding creative ways to make things work.

DON’T

  • …insist that the outcome and process should stay the same as it has always been.

  • …assume your role is to be the fixer and problem-solver.

  • …get in the way of the Spirit leading us all to a new day and new way of being.

9. DO CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE

  • Reflect on ways the world is easy for you.

  • Ask for and accept critical feedback.

  • Apologize and move on when you get it wrong.

DON’T

  • …deny that ableism and privilege exist.

  • …get defensive or argue if you are called out.

  • …take critique personally.

  • …be hard on yourself if you don’t get it right.

10. DO KEEP ON LEARNING

  • Approach learning with humility.

  • Follow blogs of disability activists.

  • Explore intersectionality.

  • Find other allies and hold each other accountable.

  • Teach others what you have learned.

DON’T

  • …assume that you have reached the point where you no longer have ingrained ableism.

  • …expect you can be a lone ranger ally.

  • …take yourself too seriously.

  • …underestimate the power of a few people to make a difference!